This test would not exist, had it not been for the Frollophile Purity Test and the Animaniacs Purity Test, on which this test is based (ok, half-copied) from. Many thanks to the contributors and creators of the said material.
Just count your number of "yes" answers, and you're set!
Section 1: Listening Habits
1.1 Have you ever listened to the Smashing Pumpkins?
1.2 Do you listen to them regularly?
1.3 Once a month?
1.4 Once a week?
1.5 Once a day?
1.6 Most of your living hours?
1.7 Do you own everything SP has released?
1.8 Do you own every bootleg?
1.9 Do you own albums on both CDs and tapes because you've worn out the tape?
1.10 Do you sing SP songs often?
1.11In the shower?
1.12 To earn money?
1.13 Do you earn good money doing this?
1.14 Even though you are tongueless and tone-deaf?
1.15 In public?
1.16 Do you sing SP songs to impress people?
1.17 Are they impressed?
1.18 Are they SP fans now?
1.19 Do you sing SP songs in another language?
1.20 In a language you don't speak?
1.21 In a language you made up?
1.23 Are you seriously tempted to sing SP songs in public?
1.24 Do you?
1.25 And not regret it?
1.26 Have you ever requested a SP song on the radio?
1.27 Did they play it?
1.28 Did it become popular afterwards?
1.29 Even though it was a talk radio station?
1.30 Do you listen to SP in the car?
1.31 Every day?
1.32 Did you ever wreck because of it?
1.33 Was your only concern for the CD/tape?
1.34 Even though your brand new car was totalled?
1.35 And what you hit was your child/parent?
1.36 Were you completely unashamed?
1.37 Did you play SP for the officer who wanted to jail you?
1.38 Did he/she pardon you after hearing SP?
1.39 Are they now SP fans?
1.40 Have you ever played SP to a captive, non SP fan audience?
1.41 For more than two cds?
1.42 Did they not consider it abuse?
1.43 Are they now SP fans?
1.44 Give yourself one point for every SP fan you've created.
1.45 Can you play SP on a musical instrument?
1.46 More than one?
1.47 Do you notice any of SP's playing mistakes?
1.48 Have you listened to SP so much that your family sent you to a mental hospital?
1.49 Did you dub the ward "the realm of soft delusions"?
1.50 Do you play SP while there?
1.51 Did you make fans of the entire staff?
1.52 The entire inpatient/outpatient population?
1.53 Have you ever listened to SP for more than 10 hours straight?
1.54 More than 24 hours?
1.55 Do you sleep to SP?
1.56 Is it impossible to sleep without SP songs?
1.57 Do you sing along to all the songs?
1.58 Even if they're just stuck in your head?
1.59 If they're stuck in your head during church?
Section 2: Viewing Habits
2.1 Do you own Vieuphoria?
2.2 Do you own a bootlegged show tape?
2.3 Did you submit it to Vieuphoria II?
2.4 Do you watch Vieuphoria every month?
2.5 Every week?
2.6 Every day?
2.7 Have you had to replace it because you wore the first one out?
2.8 Did you ever break your VCR because you had watched it too much?
2.9 Was the damage irrepairable?
2.10 Have you seen every music video by SP?
2.11 Have you recorded every video?
2.12 Is the only reason you have cable/satellite is to watch SP music videos?
2.13 Have you taped every commercial/clip/ad for a SP-related event?
2.14 If there was a SP channel, would you watch it?
2.16 Even if the company that carried it charged more than $1000 a month for it?
2.17 Have you attended a SP concert?
2.19 Give yourself one point for every concert above two you've attended.
2.20 Do you own every interview/talk show/performance special/award show that SP was on?
2.21 Did you record any of the above in the slight chance that SP might be mentioned?
2.22 Did you save the tape even though the host/guests/references/comments were anti-SP?
2.23 Have you ever copied any of your videotapes for anyone?
2.24 Have you ever had a friend who has music video channels tape SP videos for you?
2.25 Even if they weren't SP fans?
2.26 Are they now?
2.27 Have you ever traveled outside your state (or city if your state's big) to see a SP concert?
2.28 More than 100 miles?
2.29 More than 200 miles?
2.30 Give yourself one point for every 100 miles you traveled (300 gets 3, 400 gets 4, etc.)
2.31 Have you ever watched Vieuphoria/a music video/commercial/interview in slow motion?
2.32 Have people in the same room as you think you've lost it because you're jumping up and down, screaming while watching anything SP related?
2.33 Did they leave?
2.34 Did they call for help?
2.35 Were you taken away?
2.36 When SP wins stuff on award shows, do you scream so loud your neighbors call?
2.37 Do you take notes while watching SP-related events?
2.38 Have you ever kissed the TV screen when your favorite SP member is on the screen?
Section 3: Creativity
3.1 Have you ever written SP fan fic?
3.2 Did it turn into a series?
3.3 Have you written SP poetry?
3.4 Have you created your own SP fan club?
3.5 Have you created your own SP parody band?
3.6 Did you write fan fic about your parody and SP touring together?
3.7 Did you write parodies to SP songs?
3.8 Did you perform them?
3.9 For your family?
3.10 For your neighborhood?
3.11 For your school?
3.12 For your city?
3.13 Did the promotioners not realize it wasn't the real SP?
3.14 Do you still remember these parodies?
3.15 Are any of these creative works good?
3.16 Have you drawn SP?
3.17 Do you have your own SP website?
3.18 Is everything you've made posted there?
3.19 Have you created your own SP logo?
3.22 Give yourself one point for every creative work you've done that wasn't listed or couldn't be posted (like batik, sculpture, quiltwork, embroidery, etc.)
3.23 Have you written SP?
3.24 Did they write back?
3.25 Did they recommend a good mental health program?
Section 4: Knowledge
4.1 Do you know all the current SP members?
4.2 Do you know all the past SP members?
4.4 Do you quote SP?
4.5 Once a day?
4.6 In every conversation?
4.7 In every sentence?
4.8 Can you name every bootleg?
4.9 Do you know the name of every SP song?
4.10 Do you know the lyrics to every SP song?
4.11 Can you name every album/single/soundtrack/compilation they've been on?
4.12 Do you know the release date of everything SP?
4.13 Can you name everyone who has ever worked on a SP album?
4.14 Can you name everyone SP has ever worked with?
4.15 Do you know the pre-SP history of every SP member?
4.16 Do you know every member's birthday?
4.17 Do you consider them international holidays?
4.18 Do you know the names of every band member's pets?
4.19 If asked, do you recite a band member's bio by heart?
4.20 Do you know what the band members smell like?
4.21 Do you know personal things about the band that nobody else knows?
4.22 Will you tell me?
4.23 Have you ever used SP for a grade?
4.24 Did you spend more than 10 minutes on it?
4.25 More than 15?
4.26 Give yourself one point for every 5 more minutes than 15 (20 would get 3 because you answered yes to >10 and >15 plus this question)
4.27 Did you get a B or higher?
4.28 Even though the grader had no idea who SP were?
Ok, grading! If you scored 0: You are an absolute "zero".
If you got 1-20: Yes, you like the band.
If you got 21-41: Ok, so maybe you like them a lot.
If you got 42-62: Apparently, this is your favorite band.
If you got 63-83: You could be the next groupie president.
If you got 84-104: Are you one of the band's roadies?
If you got 105-122: Are you _in_ the band?
Back to From the Mouths Of Babes
Or back to the Shrine!